Penitent Disciple

As someone with strong tendencies of introversion, I live in my head a lot. And unfortunately – for me at least – that means I’m continually processing and ruminating on things from the perspective of me. Worse, those tendencies are really, habitually embedded.

And so this year I’m trying to focus more on asking for divine help to escape the prison of my perspective and seek God’s perspective as I begin and progress through each day. I need supernatural help in terms of what I should be thinking, but also how I should be thinking. How should I be approaching and orienting myself to the world around me in a way that honors and brings glory to God, and that also honors and blesses those I encounter throughout my day?

This morning, as I thought about the the world, the United States, family issues, work issues (including a new school board at the district where I’m employed), I sensed the Lord leading me to the letters of the apostle (and former disciple) Peter. And so I’ve begun re-reading, reflecting, and journaling on the wisdom to be mined from those letters, especially in terms of being a faithful and gracious disciple in a world increasingly at odds with (and at times even hostile to) historically orthodox, Biblical teaching.

Based on the unfathomable riches to be found in scripture, I know have much to learn. I’m trusting the Lord to teach me.

I should be working on the slides for the sermon I’m preaching in my pastor’s absence (approximately 38 hours from the time of this writing), but I feel compelled to stop and post a few thoughts on the topic of “Hope”. You see, “Hope” is the topic of my sermon. I discovered today that it’s also the topic of a book study that’s starting at my former church in Nebraska.

I dearly love many of the members at that church, and I like the pastors. And so it saddens me to see where the church is going, theologically. It seems to be the case with so many “progressive” churches today – minimizing (and on the verge of rejecting) the authority of scripture, focusing almost exclusively on “social justice”. Nearly all of those churches – mostly in the old mainline denominations –  are slowly dying, with attendance, membership and giving on a perpetual downward curve. The milk of universalism just isn’t very compelling for most people. I believe that’s by design – it doesn’t square up with God’s reality.

I should pause here and say that I believe there is a strong biblical justification for pursuing justice, and that much (most?) of American evangelicalism falls short in that regard. But justice carried out in the absence of deference to the authority and truth of scripture – all of scripture, and not just the parts that conform to our delicate and “enlightened” sensibilities – is sinful, and a figurative middle finger to the Creator of the universe.

The book my former church is studying is called ‘Hope – A User’s Manual’, by MaryAnn McKibben Dana. I’m not going to link to it because I’ve “looked inside” the book on Amazon, and I think it’s generally pretty horrible. Here are a few snippets from the “look inside” preview…

From the introduction on who this book is for:

Characterizing the apostle Paul’s writing as a “rigid merry-go-round” is meant to discount it, to de-legitimize it, and so to discount the authority of God’s word. The author is a full-on the disciple of the Kingdom of Me.

Later, she talks about hope in the face of unpleasant news (highlights are mine)…

I’m sorry…”bargaining with the universe”? The universe isn’t a sentient being. The universe is a created thing…which was actually created by a Creator. Bargaining with the universe? You’d be just as successful, and just as tragically foolish, by bargaining with a rock on the side of the highway. God is a Person – more of a Person that we can currently fathom. And all of His perfect, unassailable, incorruptible Personhood – His love, His mercy, His holiness, His wrath – is discoverable in scripture for those humble enough to set aside their own arrogant and delusional sense of godhood.

In another section of the book, she disparages advice about moving on too quickly from the past and setting your gaze forward. Certainly, acknowledging grief is an important part of healing. But lingering in it is sinful. And goes against what the apostle Paul calls us to do in chapter 3 of his letter to the church in Philippi.

Final excerpt from Dana’s book…

Notice the unyielding, relentless focus on the “kingdom of me”. “My” deepest self, “my” community, “my” best purpose.

Here’s a bit of unsolicited advice for MaryAnn McKibben Dana, and anyone reading her book. Pursue God and His purpose. Pursue Him – the God fully revealed in His word…including the parts of His personhood that may currently offend your sensibilities. Pursue Him first, and you’ll find your best purpose. Chase after Him – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – and you’ll find true hope. And meaning. And mission.

There is no other path.

Oswald Chambers, in the early 1900s, pegged what has become a fundamental error of much of the modern church today – particularly the self-described “progressive” wing of the church.

Sin is a fundamental relationship; it is not wrong doing, it is wrong being, deliberate and emphatic independence of God. The Christian religion bases everything on the positive, radical nature of sin. Other religions deal with sins; the Bible alone deals with sin. The first thing Jesus Christ faced in men was the heredity of sin, and it is because we have ignored this in our presentation of the Gospel that the message of the Gospel has lost its sting and its blasting power.

An increasing portion of the modern church has become preoccupied with “sins” – mostly of the social and culturally transgressive variety – while largely (if not completely) rejection the notion of “sin”. Certainly there are cultural sins to address in areas such as equality, but to focus primarily there is to focus on trying to treat the symptoms rather than the disease. The disease is sin. It is the inherent depravity, selfishness, and fallenness of all humans, who all have the impulse of the original sin as we shake our fists at God in our desire to assert our own morality, and our doomed attempts at our own holiness, over God’s divine morality and holiness revealed to us in scripture.

Until we address that, and repent of that, we are doomed to failure.

Every year on Epiphany Sunday, my church hands out gold stars with a word and a scripture verse on the back. Baskets of gold stars are passed with the words facing down, so that people don’t spend time sorting through and picking out a specific word. Somewhat in the spirit of casting lots (in a way that relies on the providence of God), the idea is to reflect upon the word found upon the back of the star selected, and about what God might be calling me to do this year based upon that word.

At the moment, I’m honestly not sure what “valor” means for me this year, but I’m trusting that God will show me as 2022 progresses.

Nearing the end of 2021, I was looking for a devotional resource to use for 2022. (During 2021 I used Tim & Kathy Keller’s ‘Songs of Jesus’ devotional based on the Psalms, which was great).

Somehow in my browsing I stumbled across this updated version of Charles Spurgeon’s classic devotional ‘Morning and Evening’. Some of the language is updated a bit from the original 19th century vernacular, and most of the scriptures quoted have been updated from the KJV to the NIV or ESV, but the charm of the original is largely unscathed. So back in October I went ahead and purchased the hardcover version.

While I hadn’t consciously thought about it at the time of purchase, I’m convinced that this choice was driven by some divinely-orchestrated serendipity. Though I was given the grace of being really faithful with my morning devotional time in 2021, lately I was beginning to be convicted about the fact that by evening, my focus had nearly always shifted to a more self-centered, and often undisciplined, mindset. But ‘Morning and Evening’ has two devotions for each day, as the title implies.

I was so entrenched in that rut that yesterday, on the first day of January, I totally forgot that there was an evening devotion to read. (I read that one today around noon). I think this is one of the things the Lord wants me to focus on this year – book-ending each day with Him. I’m adapting the journaling process recommended for ‘Songs of Jesus’, and recording a short entry in a notebook for each morning and evening reading from Spurgeon.

I’m trusting that I will be afforded the grace to keep up with this during the upcoming year, and trusting that the dividends in my life will be a blessing to both me and others.